Monday, May 22, 2006
So... Bored...
Once again, I must begin a post by apologising for my extended absence from the blog. This time, it wasn't so much that I've been too busy to write, but rather that I've been suffering from some fairly intense boredom. You'd think that suffering from intense boredom would increase my motivation to write (just for something to do), but sadly, that's not the case. When I spend my days lying on the couch watching TV and thinking about how much I'd rather be unconscious than be so apathetic, I usually don't like to write about it. I would probably sound suicidal and that's just depressing.
These feelings of boredom have caused me to rediscover once again that I'm not meant to live alone. As much as I dislike the general population of the world, it turns out that I still need some of their company to keep myself mentally healthy. When there aren't other people around to distract me from my own paranoid thoughts, I get all anti-social and reclusive (which is why I haven't called any of you), which begins our archetypical vicious circle. But then, in view of my ever-present optimism, there's a good side to being anti-social and suffering from crippling boredom too. For example, I enjoy running errands a lot more when I've got nothing else to do. For someone who hasn't been working all month, I've actually gotten quite a bit done. I took care of all my financial disorganization, I went shopping for half a new wardrobe of business-casual clothes, I cleaned the house (half-assed, but still), I made, nail, hair, and dentist appointments, I picked up a whole swack of groceries, and I washed my car inside and out after fours years of telling myself, "I'll have time to do it next week." Why just today, I mailed a few cheques, drove over to the company where I'm working now (so I won't get lost trying to find it first thing tomorrow morning), and then took my car in to have the brakes fixed. After that, I enjoyed a pleasant walk home from the garage, listening to some tunes on my CD player and stopping in at the 7-Eleven for a Slurpee. I even got to see some interesting things along the way, like my neighbours' hopeless gardening efforts, an open tampon on the sidewalk, and shirtless rollerbladers.
Still, all these "fun errands" don't make up for the fact that I remain bored out of my mind. I'd much rather be doing actual fun things than things that appear to be fun because nothing else is. Hell, I wouldn't mind doing un-fun things as long as someone is paying me for it. Thankfully, it seems that's exactly what's about to happen for me. An entire month and four interviews after I started job-hunting, I'm finally going to start work tomorrow. It's good and bad, I suppose. Even though I've had nothing to do in the absence of work, at least I got to sleep in every day. From now on, my mornings begin at six instead of eleven. Ugh... Oh well. Even though living alone and being completely and utterly bored all day long isn't entirely awful, I'm still really looking forward to entering back into the social realm and having direct contact with other people again. and being paid. That's good motivation too.
Actually, truth be told, I'm more looking forward to having a good excuse to wear all the lovely, business-casual outfits I bought earlier this week. so many new skirts to be admired!
These feelings of boredom have caused me to rediscover once again that I'm not meant to live alone. As much as I dislike the general population of the world, it turns out that I still need some of their company to keep myself mentally healthy. When there aren't other people around to distract me from my own paranoid thoughts, I get all anti-social and reclusive (which is why I haven't called any of you), which begins our archetypical vicious circle. But then, in view of my ever-present optimism, there's a good side to being anti-social and suffering from crippling boredom too. For example, I enjoy running errands a lot more when I've got nothing else to do. For someone who hasn't been working all month, I've actually gotten quite a bit done. I took care of all my financial disorganization, I went shopping for half a new wardrobe of business-casual clothes, I cleaned the house (half-assed, but still), I made, nail, hair, and dentist appointments, I picked up a whole swack of groceries, and I washed my car inside and out after fours years of telling myself, "I'll have time to do it next week." Why just today, I mailed a few cheques, drove over to the company where I'm working now (so I won't get lost trying to find it first thing tomorrow morning), and then took my car in to have the brakes fixed. After that, I enjoyed a pleasant walk home from the garage, listening to some tunes on my CD player and stopping in at the 7-Eleven for a Slurpee. I even got to see some interesting things along the way, like my neighbours' hopeless gardening efforts, an open tampon on the sidewalk, and shirtless rollerbladers.
Still, all these "fun errands" don't make up for the fact that I remain bored out of my mind. I'd much rather be doing actual fun things than things that appear to be fun because nothing else is. Hell, I wouldn't mind doing un-fun things as long as someone is paying me for it. Thankfully, it seems that's exactly what's about to happen for me. An entire month and four interviews after I started job-hunting, I'm finally going to start work tomorrow. It's good and bad, I suppose. Even though I've had nothing to do in the absence of work, at least I got to sleep in every day. From now on, my mornings begin at six instead of eleven. Ugh... Oh well. Even though living alone and being completely and utterly bored all day long isn't entirely awful, I'm still really looking forward to entering back into the social realm and having direct contact with other people again. and being paid. That's good motivation too.
Actually, truth be told, I'm more looking forward to having a good excuse to wear all the lovely, business-casual outfits I bought earlier this week. so many new skirts to be admired!
