Saturday, April 15, 2006
Jobs Are In Season
I like school. I like learning new things, I like random people telling me they're proud of me because I'm "doing something with my life," and I like partying a lot because that's just "what students do." My favourite thing about school though, is that it's a really fantastic excuse not to be employed. Students aren't really supposed to have jobs unless they're desperate; we're supposed focus all our time and energy on our studies because that way, in the distant future when we're no longer in school, we'll have comfortable, high-paying jobs in large companies that allow casual Fridays. So school is really good because while I'm there, I need not worry about actually earning my money.
And then summer arrives, and along with it, hunting season. Ducks, deer, pheasants, moose, geese... and jobs. When summer comes, school ends and there goes my great excuse for being unemployed. Summer used to be great when I was very small and was expected to run around a lot and drive my parents crazy, but now that I'm old enough to drink, I'm expected to buy my own alcohol with money I've earned for myself. University students without summer jobs are frowned upon as spoiled, selfish brats who have never done a hard day's work in their in entire lives. Even though I'm pretty sure I still fall under that category, I don't want people to think I do, so I feel obligated to find a summer job with the rest of my counterparts.
Thus, hunting season opens.
The last few summers I've found game easily enough, working first at the Stampede for ten days and then at the liquor store for a couple years. With the Stampede, hunting for a job there was like shooting fish in a barrel; I could hardly miss. With the liquor store of course, Nockle was there to call the job out of its hiding place and put the rifle in my hands. This year though, I decided it was high time I earned myself my job. I would do all the tracking myself and take a job down on my own! With this conviction came an important lesson: It's an impossible task. Jobs are too fickle, too hard to catch. Unless you have an inside man to point your rifle for you, or happen to possess a high-powered assault weapon, a decent job is just too hard to find. I've spotted about a dozen jobs so far, taken shots at all of them, and not a single one has uttered even a scared yelp. Now I'm afraid I might have to go back home, shamed and jobless, or even worse, shoot one of the slow rodent-like retail jobs that are begging me to put them out of their misery.
Does anyone have a compass I can borrow? Or a high-powered assault weapon?
And then summer arrives, and along with it, hunting season. Ducks, deer, pheasants, moose, geese... and jobs. When summer comes, school ends and there goes my great excuse for being unemployed. Summer used to be great when I was very small and was expected to run around a lot and drive my parents crazy, but now that I'm old enough to drink, I'm expected to buy my own alcohol with money I've earned for myself. University students without summer jobs are frowned upon as spoiled, selfish brats who have never done a hard day's work in their in entire lives. Even though I'm pretty sure I still fall under that category, I don't want people to think I do, so I feel obligated to find a summer job with the rest of my counterparts.
Thus, hunting season opens.
The last few summers I've found game easily enough, working first at the Stampede for ten days and then at the liquor store for a couple years. With the Stampede, hunting for a job there was like shooting fish in a barrel; I could hardly miss. With the liquor store of course, Nockle was there to call the job out of its hiding place and put the rifle in my hands. This year though, I decided it was high time I earned myself my job. I would do all the tracking myself and take a job down on my own! With this conviction came an important lesson: It's an impossible task. Jobs are too fickle, too hard to catch. Unless you have an inside man to point your rifle for you, or happen to possess a high-powered assault weapon, a decent job is just too hard to find. I've spotted about a dozen jobs so far, taken shots at all of them, and not a single one has uttered even a scared yelp. Now I'm afraid I might have to go back home, shamed and jobless, or even worse, shoot one of the slow rodent-like retail jobs that are begging me to put them out of their misery.
Does anyone have a compass I can borrow? Or a high-powered assault weapon?
