Thursday, March 23, 2006
The Ultimate Survey
You know those annoying forwarded surveys you get from your friends that clog up your inbox and that you feel obligated to answer because you were named one of the people "most likely respond"? This is one is so much better than those.
I've been working on this baby for the better part of a year (seriously, I started in August), thinking up completely useless but nevertheless extremely interesting questions to ask. Or, at least more interesting than, "what's your favourite colour?" and "what's you're middle name?" Those are tidbits of information everyone knows about you already, so I figured I would come up with some slightly more obscure ones. I think some of them actually require quite a bit of thought.
Enjoy!
1. What's your favourite constellation? The Southern Cross, because you can only see it in the southern hemisphere, and if I'm in the southern hemisphere, I'm probably in Australia.
2. Have you ever eaten something ridiculously spicy for money? No, but I once drank an entire jar of pickle juice for five dollars.
3. Are you really good at something embarrassing? (ie - flower arranging) I'm a cross-stitcher. It's my granny habit.
4. What's your favourite Christmas tradition? I love how my family always does Christmas in the same order: wake up, wake up the parents, bicker with siblings over who gets what spot to open stocking-stuffers, yell at parents impatiently to brew their damn coffee faster, sigh in exasperation when mom goes back upstairs to get the camera she forgot, FINALLY open stocking-stuffers, eat too much chocolate, over-eat breakfast food, bicker with parents about staying in pajamas for tree presents (we always win), open tree presents, be scarce for wrapping-paper clean-up.
5. What kind of things do you draw when you're doodling mindlessly? I don't really doodle per se, but a lot of the time I'll start handwriting the lyrics to whatever song is stuck in my head. Weird, I know, but I do have very lovely handwriting because of the practice.
6. Do you consider yourself a good tipper? What do you normally leave? I pride myself on being an excellent tipper and usually leave 20% or so. Unless the staff is crap.
7. What age were you the first time you ever got drunk? What and how much did you drink? I was seventeen and-a-half and I got ploughed on a mere two Mike's Hards. Oh, how far I've come.
8. When you were a little kid, what was your dream career? Definitely world-famous actress. I was one of the few who understood that being a vet meant you'd have to put animals down. And get annual rabies shots.
9. Have you ever hung up on a telemarketer before? No. I just don't seem to be able to. I don't know what my problem is.
10. What do you cook best? Apparently cookies, though I make some mighty fine pancakes too.
11. What was your favourite cartoon as a child? When I was able to catch it, She-Ra. She's the shit.
12. What's your shower routine? Fiddle distractedly in front of the mirror for awhile, remember why I'm nekkid in the bathroom, get in, adjust water temperature, shampoo and rinse, condition, soap down, rinse conditioner, wash face, shave whatever needs it, stand under the water until I remember to get out or when it gets cold. Sigh...
13. What's your earliest childhood memory? About how old were you? I think I was only two and-a-half or three, and I remember sitting on a plane with my mom and Dan. My mom was scolding me because I ate an entire packet of butter in one deft swoop of my finger.
14. What and where is the most interesting scar on your body? Hm, my third elbow, fireplace-induced stitches (temple), should've-gotten-stitches-but-didn't-bother (left shin), or the one on my head that no one knows how I got? Tough call.
15. Everyone is irrationally afraid of something; what's your phobia? Um, spiders. Everyone knows that. Apparently I'm not a big fan of heights anymore either, but that's a recent development.
16. Do you have a passive movement? What is it? Watch me sometime and you'll see at least one of my legs in perpetual motion.
17. What's your favourite kind of cheese? It's like picking the most beautiful blossom on a cherry tree. I eat a lot of cheddar, but there's a special place in my heart (and stomach) for mild gouda. Mmm...
18. Where were the monsters when you were a kid, in the closet, under the bed, or somewhere else? In the closet for sure. And sometimes wandering around downstairs making unidentifiable noises. Oh, and in my head.
19. If you had your dream bathroom, what would it look like? It would be like a really humid jungle (plants EVERYWHERE) with a long stone path leading to a clearing with a gigantic white bathtub in the middle. And the bathtub would have feet. And it would have to be filled manually (by my bathroom staff) because there wouldn't be pipes or any of those ugly things attached to it.
20. What's the most exotic animal you've ever touched? Kangaroo!
21. What's the most exotic animal you've ever eaten? Er... kangaroo...
22. Where was the most inopportune place you've ever thrown up? It's a tie between the middle of Canadian Tire, right in front of the toilet at the Banff Springs Hotel, and down the stairs at home. Projectile spaghetti. While company was over...
23. What's in your omelette? Just cheese, tomatoes, a lot of salt and pepper, and the taste of my frustration at my inability to flip it properly. I think that last one gives it an extra-special flavour.
24. Who's your alter-ego? Uh... Hermione Granger. Underneath, I'm still that neurotic about homework.
25. If you were to permanently and legally change your name tomorrow, what would you change it to? I'll be damned if I know. (I must have had something really good when I came up with this question.) I'm quite fond of my name, actually. I don't know very many other Jackies. I even like my middle names pretty well.
26. Can you bring yourself to tell someone outright that you don't like them? I didn't think so when I wrote this question, but soon after, I proved myself wrong. Way to go me!
27. Let's say the speed limit is 100 km/h. How fast would you be driving? If it's on the Deerfoot, probably no more than 120, but if it's on the highway, I'd be somewhere between 130 and 140.
28. Are you, or have you ever been pee-shy? I'm super pee-shy all the time, though the degree of shyness can fluctuate sometimes.
29. What makes you woozy just to look at? Other than giant Australian spiders? Other people puking, needles going into the skin, giant Australian spiders...
30. What do you consider "staying up late"? Uh... 5:00 is pushing it. 5:00 AM, that is. I've done a couple nights until 8:00 or 9:00 AM though, and one official, unintentional all-nighter. Those suck.
31. Everyone has some kind of collection. What's yours? I like collecting gum wrappers from around the world. I've got eighteen countries right now and possibly Indonesia coming in soon. Is anyone going to Wales? I need that to complete the UK.
32. Do you believe in fate or destiny? In what way? I don't even know anymore. The scientist in me says it's all crap, but the thirteen-year-old in me says it's all there is. I'll just have to die and figure it out after that.
33. Are you superstitious? In what way? Oh yeah. I always lift my feet over railroad tracks, and I can't even begin to count how many things I've ruined by jinxing them.
34. Do you own a musical instrument? Can you play it? I have a didjeridu! And I can't play it worth shit!
35. Can you play any (other) kind of musical instrument? Definitely not. I'm even an exceptionally terrible singer.
36. How many times do you usually hit the snooze button? Uh... on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, usually two or three times. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, just once or twice. On weekends, if I set my alarm at all, anywhere from zero to two hours' worth.
37. What's the most shameful CD in your collection? Hm, Spice Girls, Spiceworld, Aqua, Pocahontas, or one of my Much Dances (1997 and 1999)? I broke my Sailor Moon CD years ago, or else I would've just named that.
38. What do you do when you're listening to music, sing out loud, lip sync with the words, or just listen? It entirely depends on where I am. If I'm alone in the car, I'll sing. If I'm alone in the house, I'll lip sync. If I'm anywhere else, I keep my damn mouth shut.
39. When it comes to hygiene, what's something you're really picky about? If it were at all practical, I'd use a new toothbrush every morning and night.
40. If you were going to find a dead body somewhere, where do you think it would be? I know it's morbid, but every single time I pull back the shower curtain, I feel like there's going to be some nekkid, curly-haired blonde behind it with her throat slit or something. And I don't even watch horror movies.
41. Have you ever read the Bible? Pretty big chunks of it, yeah. Most of the Old Testament, anyway. Religion classes can be tedious at times...
42. What do you consider to be the foulest substance on earth? Let me just put it this way: God help the man who invented vegemite if I ever find him.
43. What's a song you're embarrassed to say you've obsessed over? Uh... "Viva Forever" by the Spice Girls. Oh, those teeny-bopper years.
44. Do your feet get too cold or too hot? Both. I usually don't notice a lot when they're cold, but I really hate it when they're too hot.
45. What's your favourite conspiracy theory? I'm all about those two other shooters on the Grassy Knoll.
46. What kind of calendar do you have? An erasable one that I can scribble all over in dry-felt markers. Last year I had one with pictures of bunnies inside!
47. What's your favourite fad? Harry Potter is my hero. I'm going to be so sad when he fades into Trivial Pursuit: Pop Culture, but at least I'll win the game.
48. How do you like your drinking water? Cold from the Brita in the fridge with a splash of lime juice. No ice.
49. What kind of keychain do you have? A very rockin' one made of Italian charms.
50. What's something you're always losing even when you try to be careful? Other than my purse? I misplace a lot of lip balm.
51. What's your favourite amusement park ride? Without a doubt, rollercoasters. The best one I've ever been on was Riddler's Revenge in Six-Flags, Anaheim. We got to stand up!
52. What was the name of your favourite teacher(s) during grade school? Do you know his/her first name too? Mr. (Lorne) Monroe in grade 4, Tobi (Blackburn) in grade 5/6, and Mitch (Campbell) in grade 11. I miss them all so much.
53. Off the top of your head, what's the funniest word you can think of? Homunculus. How can anyone resist such a silly-sounding word?
54. How many languages can you swear in? English, French, German, Spanish, Italian, Greek, and Japanese. Huh, that's actually pretty impressive...
55. What kind of charitable thing do you try to do regularly? I give blood. The head-shaving was definitely a one-time deal.
56. Do you have any weird goals? I would very much like to faint one day. Just for the hell of it.
57. What are the best and worst parts of doing laundry? Cleaning out the lint trap and folding socks, respectively.
58. If you had a tank full of goldfish, who would you name them after? Biblical kings. Seriously, they have the longest, most complicated names in the world. Goldfish with long, complicated names are much funnier than goldfish named Fred, Steve, Mark, and other boring names like that.
59. How do you take your marshmallows? If I'm feeling patient enough, golden-brown on the outside and gooey on the inside. If I'm feeling impatient, recently extinguished and gooey on the inside. I won't say no if they're in a hot chocolate either.
60. If the world suddenly ended and you were the very last person left, what would be the very first thing you'd do? Go to the nearest convenience store and eat some junk food. It just seems right.
61. Name something you horde. Lip balm. I plant them all over the place so there's always a tube nearby.
62. What do you do when you can't sleep? Read, watch movies, drink green tea, wander around very quietly...
63. What part of your body is the most ticklish? (Now be honest!) There's this spot on my back that always gets me, but it's not easy to touch it the right way...
64. Have you ever gotten a bull's-eye while playing darts? Just once, and it was a complete fluke.
65. Are you a label peeler? Not with beer, but everything else is pretty much up for grabs.
66. When/Where is the best time/place to think? Without a doubt, the best place in the world to think is in the shower. If a shower is unavailable, I think well in bed between two or three in the morning.
67. Do you have a habit you display when you're deep in thought? (ie - pacing) I have this funny thing where I lie backwards on my bed with my head at the foot and my feet at the head, always in the same postition with one of my legs crossed over the other and my hands behind my head.
68. What's the bane of your existence? Pedestrians and slow drivers. Hurry the hell up, both of you!
69. What's something you're always breaking or ruining? Shower puffs. I go through one of those every month or two.
70. Do you prefer full- or wide-screen movies? Wide-screen. Full-screen movies are blasphemous.
71. Do you name your plants? Yep. They're all called Buddy.
72. What's something you're thoroughly uncreative with? Socks. I don't own a single pair of socks that aren't footie-style and plain black.
73. If you were to die tomorrow and, as a ghost, could give instructions for your own funeral, what would you tell your loved ones to do with you? Definitely a Viking burial. I mean, lighting a ship on fire and then sending it out into the ocean? Who's going to forget THAT funeral? And I would insist on everyone drinking some nice wine and eating some mild gouda.
74. What do you do during long phone conversations? Usually play Minesweeper or Mahjongg. If there's no computer around, I pace around or sometimes cook.
75. Do you have any small (or large) mutations on your body? My earlobes have a little cartilage piece that points in the wrong direction (out instead of up) that makes it impossible for me to wear earphones without a headband. And my pinkie toenails are very demented, courtesy of my mother's genes.
76. Where is a place where you never ever smile? In libraries. I don't know what it is...
77. In your point of view, who is "the enemy"? Air Canada, insurance companies, and Sodhexo. Evil. All of them. I'm no fan of Wal-Mart either.
78. Do you have any self-taught skills? I've become rather computer-savvy mostly by fiddling around and pushing random buttons, occassionally with disastrous consequences.
79. Have you ever cross-dressed specifically for the purpose of looking like someone of the opposite sex? I dressed up like Billy Idol for Halloween once, but I really didn't pull it off. I guess I'm too girly to look like a boy.
80. Which do like better, funny quotes, inspirational quotes, or some other genre of quotes? Definitely funny ones, and nonsensical ones when they're taken out of context. I don't like many inspirational quotes because I think they're too cheesy.
81. Do you have some genre of books/TV/movies that's especially dear to you? Disaster movies, especially if an apocalypse is involved. And ESPECIALLY if it's the government's top-secret fault. Oh, they're all so terrible and I can't get enough of them.
82. When are you most photogenic? When I'm all dressed up in a ball gown with my hair done by a pro. But then, who isn't?
83. Who are you jealous of? The Olson twins, Lindsay Lohan, Hillary Duff, all the other teen stars. Bitches. They're all younger than me and have all the stuff I want. Too bad they all dress so horribly.
84. Got any weird eating habits? I eat pomegranate seeds one at a time (this takes several days to do) and I'm one of those annoying people who has to get every bit of white pulpy stuff off my orange before I'll take a bite.
85. Do you know what your parents were going to name you if you'd been born the opposite sex? If not, what do you think your opposite sex name would be? Apparently my parents were going to name me Richard. I imagine when my siblings were teasing me, they'd call me Dick. Thank God I never grew a penis.
86. What's something interesting about your handwriting? It slants left instead of right, which is pretty unusual, and I peak all my "m"s, "n"s, and "h"s instead of curving them. It's quite illegible to some people.
87. Where do you sleep on your bed? Right in the middle, but way far down. My feet are always dangling off the end.
88. Who's your favourite Muppet? Beaker, without a doubt. Poor guy. I'm also a huge fan of the Swedish Chef.
89. Ever been completely naked outdoors? What did it feel like? Once skinny dipping (Nockle, you didn't read that), a few times in an outdoor shower I had to use in St. Lucia, and once in Banff when I changed into my bathing suit behind a giant boulder before jumping into a river. It felt... weird. Just weird.
90. What's the most sick you've ever been? Um, I got mono once. I had to get a blood test and I missed all my gym classes for a month or so. That's it.
91. Any part(s) of your body fake? Pins, plates, cyborg brains...? Half a tooth and ten acrylic nails.
92. What do you normally eat for a midnight snack? Almost always a hunk of cheese or a piece of buttered toast. It depends on what I'm craving, protein or carbs?
93. Any learned taste aversions? (A learned taste aversion is a violent, pseudo-allergic reaction to foods and drinks that have, er, "caused trouble" in your system in the past. They usually develop from food poisoning.) Uh, Jack Daniel's and peach schnapps. And neither of them had to with food poisoning. Possibly green beer too, but it'll take another trial to be sure.
94. Everyone should have a personal Monopoly piece. What's yours? The hat. I won't play if I'm not the hat. I would just mix up where I was on the board the whole game.
95. What bones do you like to crack in your body? I crack my knuckles like everyone else, but I also love cracking my toes in dance class and my spine right before I go to sleep.
96. What's the most you've ever won from a Scratch-n'-Win before? I think I got ten bucks from one that a friend bought me on my eighteenth birthday, but nothing else since then.
97. Which accent is your favourite? Um, Australian. Is there any other?
98. Where do you usually find money unexpectedly? In my snowpants when I go skiing. I always forget to take money out of those pockets for some reason.
99. What's your vice? Watching movies late at night. Really, I probably COULD sleep more if I put some effort into it, but I just can't resist putting a DVD in even if it's after midnight.
100. If you were to make up your own religion, what would you call it and what would it be about? I think "Jackianity" has a nice ring to it, and it would be all about worshipping me with fresh flowers, drinking fine wine, and visiting holy sites on Australian beaches. If my followers were really good-looking, we'd have nekkid rituals too.
Whew! If - for some reason - you're actually interested in replying with your own answers, you won't be able to do the whole things in the comments section (there's a 1000 character limit) but feel free to copy and paste the whole thing into an e-mail and send it to me with your personal quirks. I'd love to hear some of them! :)
I've been working on this baby for the better part of a year (seriously, I started in August), thinking up completely useless but nevertheless extremely interesting questions to ask. Or, at least more interesting than, "what's your favourite colour?" and "what's you're middle name?" Those are tidbits of information everyone knows about you already, so I figured I would come up with some slightly more obscure ones. I think some of them actually require quite a bit of thought.
Enjoy!
1. What's your favourite constellation? The Southern Cross, because you can only see it in the southern hemisphere, and if I'm in the southern hemisphere, I'm probably in Australia.
2. Have you ever eaten something ridiculously spicy for money? No, but I once drank an entire jar of pickle juice for five dollars.
3. Are you really good at something embarrassing? (ie - flower arranging) I'm a cross-stitcher. It's my granny habit.
4. What's your favourite Christmas tradition? I love how my family always does Christmas in the same order: wake up, wake up the parents, bicker with siblings over who gets what spot to open stocking-stuffers, yell at parents impatiently to brew their damn coffee faster, sigh in exasperation when mom goes back upstairs to get the camera she forgot, FINALLY open stocking-stuffers, eat too much chocolate, over-eat breakfast food, bicker with parents about staying in pajamas for tree presents (we always win), open tree presents, be scarce for wrapping-paper clean-up.
5. What kind of things do you draw when you're doodling mindlessly? I don't really doodle per se, but a lot of the time I'll start handwriting the lyrics to whatever song is stuck in my head. Weird, I know, but I do have very lovely handwriting because of the practice.
6. Do you consider yourself a good tipper? What do you normally leave? I pride myself on being an excellent tipper and usually leave 20% or so. Unless the staff is crap.
7. What age were you the first time you ever got drunk? What and how much did you drink? I was seventeen and-a-half and I got ploughed on a mere two Mike's Hards. Oh, how far I've come.
8. When you were a little kid, what was your dream career? Definitely world-famous actress. I was one of the few who understood that being a vet meant you'd have to put animals down. And get annual rabies shots.
9. Have you ever hung up on a telemarketer before? No. I just don't seem to be able to. I don't know what my problem is.
10. What do you cook best? Apparently cookies, though I make some mighty fine pancakes too.
11. What was your favourite cartoon as a child? When I was able to catch it, She-Ra. She's the shit.
12. What's your shower routine? Fiddle distractedly in front of the mirror for awhile, remember why I'm nekkid in the bathroom, get in, adjust water temperature, shampoo and rinse, condition, soap down, rinse conditioner, wash face, shave whatever needs it, stand under the water until I remember to get out or when it gets cold. Sigh...
13. What's your earliest childhood memory? About how old were you? I think I was only two and-a-half or three, and I remember sitting on a plane with my mom and Dan. My mom was scolding me because I ate an entire packet of butter in one deft swoop of my finger.
14. What and where is the most interesting scar on your body? Hm, my third elbow, fireplace-induced stitches (temple), should've-gotten-stitches-but-didn't-bother (left shin), or the one on my head that no one knows how I got? Tough call.
15. Everyone is irrationally afraid of something; what's your phobia? Um, spiders. Everyone knows that. Apparently I'm not a big fan of heights anymore either, but that's a recent development.
16. Do you have a passive movement? What is it? Watch me sometime and you'll see at least one of my legs in perpetual motion.
17. What's your favourite kind of cheese? It's like picking the most beautiful blossom on a cherry tree. I eat a lot of cheddar, but there's a special place in my heart (and stomach) for mild gouda. Mmm...
18. Where were the monsters when you were a kid, in the closet, under the bed, or somewhere else? In the closet for sure. And sometimes wandering around downstairs making unidentifiable noises. Oh, and in my head.
19. If you had your dream bathroom, what would it look like? It would be like a really humid jungle (plants EVERYWHERE) with a long stone path leading to a clearing with a gigantic white bathtub in the middle. And the bathtub would have feet. And it would have to be filled manually (by my bathroom staff) because there wouldn't be pipes or any of those ugly things attached to it.
20. What's the most exotic animal you've ever touched? Kangaroo!
21. What's the most exotic animal you've ever eaten? Er... kangaroo...
22. Where was the most inopportune place you've ever thrown up? It's a tie between the middle of Canadian Tire, right in front of the toilet at the Banff Springs Hotel, and down the stairs at home. Projectile spaghetti. While company was over...
23. What's in your omelette? Just cheese, tomatoes, a lot of salt and pepper, and the taste of my frustration at my inability to flip it properly. I think that last one gives it an extra-special flavour.
24. Who's your alter-ego? Uh... Hermione Granger. Underneath, I'm still that neurotic about homework.
25. If you were to permanently and legally change your name tomorrow, what would you change it to? I'll be damned if I know. (I must have had something really good when I came up with this question.) I'm quite fond of my name, actually. I don't know very many other Jackies. I even like my middle names pretty well.
26. Can you bring yourself to tell someone outright that you don't like them? I didn't think so when I wrote this question, but soon after, I proved myself wrong. Way to go me!
27. Let's say the speed limit is 100 km/h. How fast would you be driving? If it's on the Deerfoot, probably no more than 120, but if it's on the highway, I'd be somewhere between 130 and 140.
28. Are you, or have you ever been pee-shy? I'm super pee-shy all the time, though the degree of shyness can fluctuate sometimes.
29. What makes you woozy just to look at? Other than giant Australian spiders? Other people puking, needles going into the skin, giant Australian spiders...
30. What do you consider "staying up late"? Uh... 5:00 is pushing it. 5:00 AM, that is. I've done a couple nights until 8:00 or 9:00 AM though, and one official, unintentional all-nighter. Those suck.
31. Everyone has some kind of collection. What's yours? I like collecting gum wrappers from around the world. I've got eighteen countries right now and possibly Indonesia coming in soon. Is anyone going to Wales? I need that to complete the UK.
32. Do you believe in fate or destiny? In what way? I don't even know anymore. The scientist in me says it's all crap, but the thirteen-year-old in me says it's all there is. I'll just have to die and figure it out after that.
33. Are you superstitious? In what way? Oh yeah. I always lift my feet over railroad tracks, and I can't even begin to count how many things I've ruined by jinxing them.
34. Do you own a musical instrument? Can you play it? I have a didjeridu! And I can't play it worth shit!
35. Can you play any (other) kind of musical instrument? Definitely not. I'm even an exceptionally terrible singer.
36. How many times do you usually hit the snooze button? Uh... on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, usually two or three times. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, just once or twice. On weekends, if I set my alarm at all, anywhere from zero to two hours' worth.
37. What's the most shameful CD in your collection? Hm, Spice Girls, Spiceworld, Aqua, Pocahontas, or one of my Much Dances (1997 and 1999)? I broke my Sailor Moon CD years ago, or else I would've just named that.
38. What do you do when you're listening to music, sing out loud, lip sync with the words, or just listen? It entirely depends on where I am. If I'm alone in the car, I'll sing. If I'm alone in the house, I'll lip sync. If I'm anywhere else, I keep my damn mouth shut.
39. When it comes to hygiene, what's something you're really picky about? If it were at all practical, I'd use a new toothbrush every morning and night.
40. If you were going to find a dead body somewhere, where do you think it would be? I know it's morbid, but every single time I pull back the shower curtain, I feel like there's going to be some nekkid, curly-haired blonde behind it with her throat slit or something. And I don't even watch horror movies.
41. Have you ever read the Bible? Pretty big chunks of it, yeah. Most of the Old Testament, anyway. Religion classes can be tedious at times...
42. What do you consider to be the foulest substance on earth? Let me just put it this way: God help the man who invented vegemite if I ever find him.
43. What's a song you're embarrassed to say you've obsessed over? Uh... "Viva Forever" by the Spice Girls. Oh, those teeny-bopper years.
44. Do your feet get too cold or too hot? Both. I usually don't notice a lot when they're cold, but I really hate it when they're too hot.
45. What's your favourite conspiracy theory? I'm all about those two other shooters on the Grassy Knoll.
46. What kind of calendar do you have? An erasable one that I can scribble all over in dry-felt markers. Last year I had one with pictures of bunnies inside!
47. What's your favourite fad? Harry Potter is my hero. I'm going to be so sad when he fades into Trivial Pursuit: Pop Culture, but at least I'll win the game.
48. How do you like your drinking water? Cold from the Brita in the fridge with a splash of lime juice. No ice.
49. What kind of keychain do you have? A very rockin' one made of Italian charms.
50. What's something you're always losing even when you try to be careful? Other than my purse? I misplace a lot of lip balm.
51. What's your favourite amusement park ride? Without a doubt, rollercoasters. The best one I've ever been on was Riddler's Revenge in Six-Flags, Anaheim. We got to stand up!
52. What was the name of your favourite teacher(s) during grade school? Do you know his/her first name too? Mr. (Lorne) Monroe in grade 4, Tobi (Blackburn) in grade 5/6, and Mitch (Campbell) in grade 11. I miss them all so much.
53. Off the top of your head, what's the funniest word you can think of? Homunculus. How can anyone resist such a silly-sounding word?
54. How many languages can you swear in? English, French, German, Spanish, Italian, Greek, and Japanese. Huh, that's actually pretty impressive...
55. What kind of charitable thing do you try to do regularly? I give blood. The head-shaving was definitely a one-time deal.
56. Do you have any weird goals? I would very much like to faint one day. Just for the hell of it.
57. What are the best and worst parts of doing laundry? Cleaning out the lint trap and folding socks, respectively.
58. If you had a tank full of goldfish, who would you name them after? Biblical kings. Seriously, they have the longest, most complicated names in the world. Goldfish with long, complicated names are much funnier than goldfish named Fred, Steve, Mark, and other boring names like that.
59. How do you take your marshmallows? If I'm feeling patient enough, golden-brown on the outside and gooey on the inside. If I'm feeling impatient, recently extinguished and gooey on the inside. I won't say no if they're in a hot chocolate either.
60. If the world suddenly ended and you were the very last person left, what would be the very first thing you'd do? Go to the nearest convenience store and eat some junk food. It just seems right.
61. Name something you horde. Lip balm. I plant them all over the place so there's always a tube nearby.
62. What do you do when you can't sleep? Read, watch movies, drink green tea, wander around very quietly...
63. What part of your body is the most ticklish? (Now be honest!) There's this spot on my back that always gets me, but it's not easy to touch it the right way...
64. Have you ever gotten a bull's-eye while playing darts? Just once, and it was a complete fluke.
65. Are you a label peeler? Not with beer, but everything else is pretty much up for grabs.
66. When/Where is the best time/place to think? Without a doubt, the best place in the world to think is in the shower. If a shower is unavailable, I think well in bed between two or three in the morning.
67. Do you have a habit you display when you're deep in thought? (ie - pacing) I have this funny thing where I lie backwards on my bed with my head at the foot and my feet at the head, always in the same postition with one of my legs crossed over the other and my hands behind my head.
68. What's the bane of your existence? Pedestrians and slow drivers. Hurry the hell up, both of you!
69. What's something you're always breaking or ruining? Shower puffs. I go through one of those every month or two.
70. Do you prefer full- or wide-screen movies? Wide-screen. Full-screen movies are blasphemous.
71. Do you name your plants? Yep. They're all called Buddy.
72. What's something you're thoroughly uncreative with? Socks. I don't own a single pair of socks that aren't footie-style and plain black.
73. If you were to die tomorrow and, as a ghost, could give instructions for your own funeral, what would you tell your loved ones to do with you? Definitely a Viking burial. I mean, lighting a ship on fire and then sending it out into the ocean? Who's going to forget THAT funeral? And I would insist on everyone drinking some nice wine and eating some mild gouda.
74. What do you do during long phone conversations? Usually play Minesweeper or Mahjongg. If there's no computer around, I pace around or sometimes cook.
75. Do you have any small (or large) mutations on your body? My earlobes have a little cartilage piece that points in the wrong direction (out instead of up) that makes it impossible for me to wear earphones without a headband. And my pinkie toenails are very demented, courtesy of my mother's genes.
76. Where is a place where you never ever smile? In libraries. I don't know what it is...
77. In your point of view, who is "the enemy"? Air Canada, insurance companies, and Sodhexo. Evil. All of them. I'm no fan of Wal-Mart either.
78. Do you have any self-taught skills? I've become rather computer-savvy mostly by fiddling around and pushing random buttons, occassionally with disastrous consequences.
79. Have you ever cross-dressed specifically for the purpose of looking like someone of the opposite sex? I dressed up like Billy Idol for Halloween once, but I really didn't pull it off. I guess I'm too girly to look like a boy.
80. Which do like better, funny quotes, inspirational quotes, or some other genre of quotes? Definitely funny ones, and nonsensical ones when they're taken out of context. I don't like many inspirational quotes because I think they're too cheesy.
81. Do you have some genre of books/TV/movies that's especially dear to you? Disaster movies, especially if an apocalypse is involved. And ESPECIALLY if it's the government's top-secret fault. Oh, they're all so terrible and I can't get enough of them.
82. When are you most photogenic? When I'm all dressed up in a ball gown with my hair done by a pro. But then, who isn't?
83. Who are you jealous of? The Olson twins, Lindsay Lohan, Hillary Duff, all the other teen stars. Bitches. They're all younger than me and have all the stuff I want. Too bad they all dress so horribly.
84. Got any weird eating habits? I eat pomegranate seeds one at a time (this takes several days to do) and I'm one of those annoying people who has to get every bit of white pulpy stuff off my orange before I'll take a bite.
85. Do you know what your parents were going to name you if you'd been born the opposite sex? If not, what do you think your opposite sex name would be? Apparently my parents were going to name me Richard. I imagine when my siblings were teasing me, they'd call me Dick. Thank God I never grew a penis.
86. What's something interesting about your handwriting? It slants left instead of right, which is pretty unusual, and I peak all my "m"s, "n"s, and "h"s instead of curving them. It's quite illegible to some people.
87. Where do you sleep on your bed? Right in the middle, but way far down. My feet are always dangling off the end.
88. Who's your favourite Muppet? Beaker, without a doubt. Poor guy. I'm also a huge fan of the Swedish Chef.
89. Ever been completely naked outdoors? What did it feel like? Once skinny dipping (Nockle, you didn't read that), a few times in an outdoor shower I had to use in St. Lucia, and once in Banff when I changed into my bathing suit behind a giant boulder before jumping into a river. It felt... weird. Just weird.
90. What's the most sick you've ever been? Um, I got mono once. I had to get a blood test and I missed all my gym classes for a month or so. That's it.
91. Any part(s) of your body fake? Pins, plates, cyborg brains...? Half a tooth and ten acrylic nails.
92. What do you normally eat for a midnight snack? Almost always a hunk of cheese or a piece of buttered toast. It depends on what I'm craving, protein or carbs?
93. Any learned taste aversions? (A learned taste aversion is a violent, pseudo-allergic reaction to foods and drinks that have, er, "caused trouble" in your system in the past. They usually develop from food poisoning.) Uh, Jack Daniel's and peach schnapps. And neither of them had to with food poisoning. Possibly green beer too, but it'll take another trial to be sure.
94. Everyone should have a personal Monopoly piece. What's yours? The hat. I won't play if I'm not the hat. I would just mix up where I was on the board the whole game.
95. What bones do you like to crack in your body? I crack my knuckles like everyone else, but I also love cracking my toes in dance class and my spine right before I go to sleep.
96. What's the most you've ever won from a Scratch-n'-Win before? I think I got ten bucks from one that a friend bought me on my eighteenth birthday, but nothing else since then.
97. Which accent is your favourite? Um, Australian. Is there any other?
98. Where do you usually find money unexpectedly? In my snowpants when I go skiing. I always forget to take money out of those pockets for some reason.
99. What's your vice? Watching movies late at night. Really, I probably COULD sleep more if I put some effort into it, but I just can't resist putting a DVD in even if it's after midnight.
100. If you were to make up your own religion, what would you call it and what would it be about? I think "Jackianity" has a nice ring to it, and it would be all about worshipping me with fresh flowers, drinking fine wine, and visiting holy sites on Australian beaches. If my followers were really good-looking, we'd have nekkid rituals too.
Whew! If - for some reason - you're actually interested in replying with your own answers, you won't be able to do the whole things in the comments section (there's a 1000 character limit) but feel free to copy and paste the whole thing into an e-mail and send it to me with your personal quirks. I'd love to hear some of them! :)
